Adult Anxiety in Real Life: What It Is, What It Isn’t, and What Actually Helps
Show Notes:
Most adults don't realize that functioning despite constant anxiety doesn't mean you're okay—you're just coping. But what if you could learn to work with anxiety instead of against it? In this eye-opening episode, Dr. Ernie Reilly, LCSW and Counseling Corner experts Michelle Buchanan, LMHC and Ale Rios, RMHCI unravel the myths, reveal practical strategies, and share surprising insights to help you handle adult anxiety with confidence. You'll discover how high-functioning anxiety might be draining you more than you realize, and why avoiding triggers or simply trying to think positive often backfire. We break down the powerful concept of reframing anxious thoughts—seeing your past successes instead of fixating on fears—and how this simple shift can transform your mental resilience.
Learn why staying constantly busy may seem calming but actually reinforces anxiety, and how to develop mental fitness akin to physical workouts—gradually building strength to handle life's stresses. This episode dives into the subtle differences between stress, burnout, and anxiety, showing how recognizing these patterns can prevent long-term health issues.
You'll hear stories from real adults navigating these challenges, and practical steps to move toward acceptance, action, and collaboration with your anxiety instead of battling it alone. Whether you're overwhelmed by racing thoughts, irritability, or pervasive worry, these insights will empower you to take back control.
Perfect for anyone feeling stuck in the cycle of adult anxiety—whether you're skeptical of therapy or unsure where to begin—this episode offers clear, compassionate guidance to reframe your mindset and build lasting resilience. Don’t just cope—learn to thrive alongside your anxiety and create a life where you call the shots, not your fears.
If you’re ready to transform your relationship with anxiety and craft your own success story, tune in now—because you don’t have to face this alone.
THE COUNSELING CORNER — CONTACT US
Phone: 407-843-4968
Email: info@counselingcorner.net
Address: 1631 Hillcrest St., Orlando, FL 32803
FOLLOW US:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/counselingcornerorlando/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/1631CounselingCorner
Meet Our Counselors:
Visit the show on Apple Podcasts
Visit the show on Spotify
Visit the show on YouTube
Transcript:
DAVID MORILLO (00:01.776)
Welcome to Real Life Counseling, a podcast by Counseling Corner. I'm David Murillo and I'm here with Dr. Ernie Reilly a licensed clinical social worker and founder of the Counseling Corner. And today we're talking about something that a lot of adults are carrying at varying levels of intensity, anxiety. We all know what anxiety can look like and it can be debilitating and paralyzing, but it doesn't always stop us from functioning. Often,
It can live underneath busy schedules, responsibilities, relationships, and the pressure to keep it together. We hear questions all the time like this. Is this anxiety or is this just adult life? Why do I feel an edge when things are going well? And what actually happens in anxiety counseling? To help us unpack that, we're joined by two experienced and I'm going to say exceptional
therapists from the counseling corner. We have Michelle Buchanan, licensed medical health counselor and licensed marriage and family therapist. And Ale Reyes, our newest counseling corner anxiety expert, both working closely with adults navigating anxiety every single day. There'll be lots of helpful information today, so I hope you have a pen and a piece of paper to be able to write some of this stuff.
and it'll be information about living with anxiety, but our goal is really about understanding what anxiety really looks like as an adult, clearing up some of the common myths and helping you feel less alone if this sounds familiar. That was a mouthful. we can get through this. And so we have a lot to cover in a very short amount of time. So let's get started. I'm going to read a few statements for our distinguished panel today.
And these statements, hear all of the times. There's no right or wrong answer. I just want to hear reactions to when you hear these statements. And I just want to throw a softball over to Dr. Ernie. And the first statement that I'll share is, if I'm still functioning, my anxiety must not be that serious. What does that trigger inside of you? What does that mean? Maybe trigger is not the right word to prompt that. But anyways, what are your thoughts?
Ernie (02:18.774)
Yeah, so if I'm still functioning, my anxiety must not be serious. I would say that's just not the case. mean, certainly we would rather people be functioning. Functioning is better than not functioning, but it certainly doesn't mean that anxiety can't be serious. Functioning doesn't mean you're okay. It just means you're coping. Right? So a lot of anxious adults are high functioning, but they're exhausted. Life is tearing them apart, draining them.
They're high functioning during the day, then right before they go to bed or something like that, oftentimes they feel pretty anxious. So high functioning does not necessarily mean that you don't have anxiety that's draining you. Anxiety can still be there and we can be functioning. In fact, a lot of people, as you mentioned, David, a lot of people fill their schedule and they can look extremely functioning when they're anxious. They hyper function.
DAVID MORILLO (03:09.183)
and make them a fixed.
Ernie (03:17.23)
when they're anxious.
DAVID MORILLO (03:18.664)
Wow. I'm going to throw another statement out there and catch it if you want to, Michelle, which is this is just adulthood. Everyone feels like this.
Michelle (03:27.848)
Well, I think that everyone will experience anxiety here and there. I think that is definitely typical. We all can probably relate to that. But if you think anxiety is a problem for you, maybe it is. So you want to kind of listen to that. And you might notice it in different areas of your life. You might notice, you know, racing thoughts or you just kind of can't turn your brain off. You might realize that anxiety is kind of taking over your decision making.
DAVID MORILLO (03:55.968)
Mm-hmm.
Michelle (03:56.489)
and maybe you're avoiding things or procrastinating in ways that aren't beneficial to your life. Maybe it's holding you back. And when you're noticing that it's holding you back, you want to listen to yourself. could be, anxiety could really be playing a pretty.
pretty big part there. You might want to listen to your body too. Are you feeling a lot of tension? Are you noticing that, you know, like Dr. Reilly said, you might be having difficulty falling asleep in the evening or maybe even waking up in the morning with racing thoughts. So noticing your body, your reactions and your responses, your decision making in life, that will really be a telltale of is this kind of typical anxiety that we all will experience or is it something a little bit more for you?
DAVID MORILLO (04:17.568)
in
DAVID MORILLO (04:31.732)
Thanks for watching.
So.
DAVID MORILLO (04:42.624)
Awesome, thank you so much for that insight. And I have one for you, which is once the season slows down, my anxiety will calm down. What would your response or reaction be to that?
Ale Rios (04:55.373)
My first response is how relatable that is. I think that that is a statement that whether you're someone who identifies with anxiety, like, I have anxiety all the time, or someone's like, I rarely get anxious. We've all been through a phase at some point in our life where we're like consistently going through something where every day has its challenges, its obstacles, and it can be difficult. And we tell ourselves, it's okay, I just have to get through the day, the week.
I have to make it to the end of the semester if you're in school. I have to make it to the end of this year. And so what can happen a lot with anxiety when I think of anxiety is a cycle. And anxiety likes avoidance. It wants to stay away from the thing that's really scary. And so sometimes if the present is scary, you want to avoid the present. And so you kind of stay in the cycle of
I'm gonna constantly look to the future and avoid what I'm feeling right now, but that can sometimes strengthen that feeling. It can reinforce the anxiety. But it's a very common experience. think even myself as a therapist, I've been through these phases. When I was in my master's program, when I was in my undergrad, when I was navigating K through 12 as a student. And I think that that's why I find this so relatable. I think we can all picture a time in our life where we said this line at some point or other.
DAVID MORILLO (05:54.911)
in
DAVID MORILLO (06:00.138)
to think that myself as a
DAVID MORILLO (06:10.112)
Hmm.
DAVID MORILLO (06:18.784)
Thank you so much for that and for bringing in some of your story into the fact I want to try to jump into it. It's you know, I think the tension of talking about anxiety tension. I did not realize how many of these words were all related to anxiety. So I'm like in real time processing the desire to want to pour out so much more. But knowing that we have a limited amount of time, I wanted to jump into a new segment here. And I want to call this
harmful or helpful. And I'll name a strategy that adults use to manage anxiety and tell me if it helps, hurts, or depends. It's a third option here. so staying constantly busy. What do you think about that? Because I think this marries to what you were talking about earlier.
Ernie (07:10.398)
Yeah, so staying busy, right? That's very that's like Ali was saying that's very common for people to do staying busy But it also is sort of training our brain that that the risk isn't safe So we need to run from it if you think of anxiety think of it anxiety is there actually for a good reason Real anxiety is there to protect us when there's some risk so you're walking through the woods and you hear a bear coming and you're like
DAVID MORILLO (07:25.94)
Mm-hmm.
Ernie (07:40.516)
my goodness, I better do something, right? That's there to give us a leg up. The problem is when anxiety goes off, right? It's like a faulty alarm. It's like your alarm system is going off, right? Or your dog is barking, but it's just a squirrel on the porch, right? Or your check engine light is coming on and saying something's wrong, but it's actually nothing wrong with the car. It's the check engine light. That's when things have gone off. So staying busy can feel calming.
Right? can calm us, right? To stay busy, but it's really just anxiety in disguise. When things slow down, the anxiety just comes back, which is why in the morning time or late at night, or when you quiet down, it starts to come back up and then you need to stay busy again, which is earlier when we were talking about overperforming or hyper performing. That's why that's so addictive or that's why that's so appealing because I could try to escape from it. But I am sort of training my brain that
DAVID MORILLO (08:15.732)
Yeah.
Ernie (08:37.504)
Anxiety is something I can't deal with, where it is something you can actually deal with.
DAVID MORILLO (08:44.096)
What about the idea of avoiding triggers?
Ale Rios (08:48.821)
Yeah, to kind of piggyback off of what Ernie said, I think that that's an excellent point that anxiety serves a purpose. It's not inherently a bad thing. It's supposed to be a good thing. I think as we kind of look at the staying busy mindset in a way by staying busy all the time, we are avoiding triggers. So this depends. It can be helpful if the trigger is causing more harm and we need to take some space for it. need to take a break. So that can be a good time where anxiety saying,
we need to listen to our body, we're not feeling safe right now. But when we're constantly doing that and reinforcing that cycle of I can't handle any trigger, when we teach ourselves that lesson that I can't handle difficult things, anxiety can just get stronger and stronger over time. So avoiding triggers becomes a cycle where we never put ourselves in uncomfortable or stressful situations. And it's difficult when we talk about treating anxiety where
DAVID MORILLO (09:27.967)
Mm.
DAVID MORILLO (09:39.014)
ever.
Ale Rios (09:47.924)
nine times out of ten the treatment's gonna be, actually we do need to be exposed to anxiety so we can teach ourselves how to handle it. So a lot of times even avoiding triggers when you come to therapy you might think, I never want to deal with the thing that's causing the anxiety, but there's a piece of that that's kind of necessary where we do have to confront the things that are stressing us out, but we can do so in a way that's digestible, in a way that's building that safety, building that trust, so we're not flooding ourselves.
DAVID MORILLO (10:14.848)
Mm-hmm.
Ale Rios (10:17.003)
with a trigger that feels overly unsafe.
Ernie (10:20.632)
Ali, would you say it's a little bit like when you're all working out, like if you go to the gym and you want weight, right? You need that to build capacity, to build strength, right? But what you don't do is if you can only bench, you know, a hundred pounds, you don't put 500 pounds on, right? So you want it to be appropriate level, but you want to be developing the ability. The ability isn't to just remove all triggers from life. We remove all triggers from life. We've actually gotten weaker.
Ale Rios (10:39.242)
Absolutely.
DAVID MORILLO (10:39.314)
Right.
Ale Rios (10:42.477)
Thank you.
Ernie (10:51.372)
Right. then you'll find it just growing. Would you agree that that's kind of like, yeah. Yeah.
Ale Rios (10:54.505)
Absolutely. think that analogy actually is excellent because our mental fitness is just like physical fitness. It takes time, it takes effort, but it also takes recovery where you put work into it so you get the results after. It's kind of the analogy of the paper towel where after one gym session, you're not going to notice that much of a result. But over time, as you keep taking off a piece of that paper towel, you start building a collection.
And mental health is very similar, I feel like. When you go to the gym and you're working out your muscles, you're putting yourself in a stressful situation to build strength and resilience. And mental health can be very similar, especially with anxiety.
DAVID MORILLO (11:37.066)
Well, thank you for that. Michelle, you don't get to escape this one. I just have one for you as a thought. What about positive thinking?
Michelle (11:48.872)
that one can go either way, pardon me. You know, we're intelligent people, right? So if we feel as if we're lying to ourselves about something, if you're really experiencing anxiety, really, you we believe our thoughts. We invest in them. And simply lying to yourself might not be validating. It might not be honoring where you're really at in that time.
like Allie and Dr. Reilly were saying, we kind of want to understand how these triggers affect us and be a little gentle in how we approach them so that our successes are reinforcing to a little bit of growth and a little bit of growth. We're going to go from lifting 10 pounds to 15 to 20, not from 10 to 500, right? And so we kind of want to do that in the way that we think as well and just understand them. But when we...
are trying to understand where our anxieties come from in our thought life. One thing that we can do is really think about reframing them. know, we can reframe our thoughts, we can look at it from a different perspective. You might know somebody in your life who is really, if we use the gym example, going to the gym and doing great and you might turn to them for support, say, how do you think about this? How would you see this? You know, are there other ways to see it? And so we might consider other perspectives. We might turn to quotes or even
history as well or even our own past successes. We have all gone through times in our lives when something was incredibly anxiety provoking and we thought, can't do it. You know, I think of a little one learning to tie their shoes and how hard that can be for them, right? That little act of tying our shoes and I'm pretty sure the four of us, we can tie our shoes and we don't even think about it. It just kind of happens on our own. But those little ones can have quite a bit of anxiety about it and the thought behind it is, I can't
DAVID MORILLO (13:21.952)
So, we'll to you later.
Michelle (13:41.82)
do this. This is too hard for me. There's no way I can learn this. And these are those anxious thoughts that are just like, can't, there's no way. And now if that little one just says, yes, there is a way, would we really expect that from them to just say, no, of course you can. Yes, we're going to teach them how we're going to show them with repetition how. And so what you notice is you look back through the history of your life and you have every one of us has had so much incredible success at beating all of the things that have been challenged.
to us. So these anxious thoughts are just one more of them. So I think just kind of turning back to those successes is a really great way to approach positive thinking with anxiety.
DAVID MORILLO (14:22.656)
I do want to present this because I know this segment is anxiety in adults and in some of the illustrations were towards children and tying shoes and I think that's beautiful and that that is true and right. One of the things that you did and I think you you you did it so beautifully in reframing which you use that language, but I don't know that sometimes people know what that means or even how to do it.
But one of the things that you shared is, and I think about is that, you know, I grew up in the South Bronx. I grew up in very challenging environment and that could be very anxiety inducing because of physical safety, emotional safety, all of this stuff. But then you reframe that thought and saying, look at all of the things that you've had to overcome. Right. And, that, so can you unpack that just a little bit? Because I think as we're talking to adults, they're very
very real is happening in this country right now, whether it's a political thing, whether it's a relationship thing, whether it's a career thing. How does someone reframe? And just an example, clearly we're not doing an entire session here, this, but just providing an example that an adult listening to this can say, my life is a little bit harder than tying shoes.
Michelle (15:43.754)
I appreciate that. Thank you so much for taking it a step deeper. really appreciate that. And it definitely begins with understanding that the thoughts are there, I think. Take time with your thoughts. What are you worried about? I encourage my clients to write it down. if you can, if you know, what are your concerns? Is it something that, like you were saying, the state of the world? Is it something, if we have someone who, let's say, is really concerned about something happening,
DAVID MORILLO (16:05.042)
It's a shame now.
Michelle (16:14.459)
even if it's politically, let's say, write down what your concerns are. What are they? How do those concerns pertain to you, to your loved ones, to other people, to the general community as well? And take a look at what that is. Take some time to really ask yourself, what's the risks in that for you and for them?
and walk through what that is, I think taking time to talk with other people about what that looks like because here's the other question is, I don't know how much of others we can change. If we start to notice that these anxious thoughts are really related to others or world issues, gosh, it's so hard to make everybody else change, right? Well, one thing we can do is change how we look at it and change the impact that it has in our day to day.
DAVID MORILLO (16:58.048)
think everybody has changed, right?
We'll be back in it and change the...
Michelle (17:08.027)
taking that next step and saying, is there a way, is there any way that I can look at this situation that's so incredibly hurtful or provoking for me and find a way toward more of acceptance, that acceptance that I might not be able to change it, acceptance that it's occurring and maybe that I don't have power. it sounds so hard to do. It's a little even hard for me to say that because I know that words are easier than the option.
DAVID MORILLO (17:34.74)
Mm-hmm.
Michelle (17:35.527)
but taking that time toward acceptance of what's true and then taking action. So action and acceptance are kind of the two toggle points there. Also when it comes, I think to adult stuff is gosh, take the action, which is where anxiety can be so funky and hold you back.
DAVID MORILLO (17:50.078)
Thank you.
Ernie (17:51.31)
David, one thought on that with like when when Michelle used the term reframe, if you actually think of a photo, right, or a picture and you think of the frame, imagine the frame said victim on it. That has a very different feel than survivor or thriver or change agent or warrior or, you know, resilience or something like that. So we're reframing it.
DAVID MORILLO (17:56.928)
Yeah.
Ernie (18:21.09)
to see it differently. When she spoke of like seeing their history, the child or the adult that's dealt with such and such, it's sort of like an ESPN highlight reel. What are your highlights? So many times what's playing through our head are the lowlights, right? All the things that we didn't do, all the things that we were bad at. And it's really good to remember, hey, who's the one who survived this? Who's the one who thrived during this?
DAVID MORILLO (18:34.164)
Yeah.
DAVID MORILLO (18:39.262)
Yes.
Ernie (18:50.008)
Who's the one who grew up in the Bronx and got through things and made it to such and such and is now doing this and this and this? yeah, that is me. Yes, I have gotten through. So that's sort of that reframing. Would you agree, Michelle? That's kind of like the... Yeah.
DAVID MORILLO (18:51.104)
in the wrong thing, not the good thing, and made it such and such.
Michelle (19:04.265)
Absolutely, absolutely. What a difference it can make in your life too. When you actually apply that and you see that, okay, I'm really going to look at this through a different lens.
DAVID MORILLO (19:14.496)
And I just want to say, because, um, we're going to continue with the exercise metaphor is it's a muscle that needs to be worked out. I think that's so often we come, we're for ruler measuring ourselves and saying, Hey, I can't figure this stuff out. So I'm just not going to do it, but you don't go to the gym once and stop going. You, you don't want her to see results. You have to keep doing this as for anyone that's kind of struggling or in that tension of reframing. It takes practice.
Michelle (19:35.017)
Hmm.
DAVID MORILLO (19:44.636)
And as you need to do that and cultivate community that can also help you with that, I think it becomes a really powerful tool to engage the world and kind of put action as Michelle was sharing. And so this is the problem. Yeah.
Ernie (19:45.091)
Yeah.
Ernie (19:59.224)
David, with that real quick, is a growth mindset. That's something to think about. A fixed mindset is, I'm this way and I'm always gonna be this way and that's just who I am. A growth mindset is, it's all about the learning, it's all about the strengthening, it's all about the growing. So even when I hit low, it's all just growing. People who have that come to a challenge and they say, good, I love a challenge, because a challenge makes me stronger, right?
DAVID MORILLO (20:03.668)
That's something to think about.
DAVID MORILLO (20:16.912)
I am actually really
DAVID MORILLO (20:22.165)
Yes.
DAVID MORILLO (20:28.437)
Yeah.
Ernie (20:29.224)
People who have a fixed mindset say, want to avoid that challenge and hide that I'm struggling with this. Growth is, hey, it's all about growing.
Michelle (20:39.399)
You know, David, you used a great word earlier, use the word cultivating. And I think that's a great way to see this as you're cultivating. so we look at the, again, the two toggles of compassion, know, compassion toward yourself and patience in the process and understanding that this won't necessarily always yield positive every day. You might have those steps back and you're going to learn from them and then continuing to cultivate. So compassion and then cultivation and just know that you're going to toggle between those two and the more
DAVID MORILLO (20:39.7)
I.
Are there any questions? Yes.
DAVID MORILLO (20:52.219)
and forward yourself in future.
Michelle (21:09.353)
you do that you end up in that space you want to be.
DAVID MORILLO (21:12.832)
Awesome. I mean, we can stay on that topic for a long time. We have to continue to press forward at the conversation. is this gets me so excited because I know how helpful this is going to be to the listeners. And so as we continue our conversation, I want to present three words. And these words are oftentimes used interchangeably, but they're not the same thing. And the three words are stress, anxiety and burnout. And
Ernie (21:17.774)
You
Michelle (21:21.586)
you
DAVID MORILLO (21:40.372)
I'd love to help listeners understand the difference between what they may be experiencing. So I'm going to read some scenarios and then I'll start with you, Michelle, because you, I just want to start with you. I'm exhausted, but I can't relax as a scenario. What is your response to
Michelle (21:53.571)
Yes.
Michelle (21:59.13)
long-term patterns, right? Long-term. That if we're exhausted and we can't relax, that sounds like anxiety is present, right? There's been this pattern of situations, our responses, our reactions, and you're racing. Your mind is racing, right? You're overthinking things. The thoughts won't maybe seem to slow down, and so you're finding yourself in a state of anxiety. And that, of course, your body, I mean, your body is actually responding and reacting to
DAVID MORILLO (22:07.219)
Okay.
Michelle (22:29.003)
and how can you relax? All of your brain actually shifts and the different parts of your brain actually respond differently when you're experiencing anxiety and because of that our body of course we have this body mind connection so our body also can't slow down and so we notice that it's so tiring we're exhausted but our overthinking just kind of pushes us forward.
DAVID MORILLO (22:38.248)
Any questions?
DAVID MORILLO (22:48.522)
Hmm.
DAVID MORILLO (22:55.624)
Wow. And Dr. Ernie, I'm irritable with people I care about. And so I am. So what would you help me label that?
Ernie (23:03.216)
You are David?
Michelle (23:04.233)
you
Ernie (23:08.782)
All right, yes. So irritability, right, with those you love and those you're around and those that really haven't done anything that terrible, usually that is a sign that our system is on overload, right? Our nervous system is just on overload. We see that huge amount with anxiety. We see it with depression and some other things as well, but certainly anxiety is one place where that shows up. So when you're snapping at those you love,
DAVID MORILLO (23:21.952)
Mm.
DAVID MORILLO (23:30.046)
Well, it's certainly an exciting.
So.
Ernie (23:36.694)
It's probably a sign that something's going on. Probably something in here. It could just be sometimes people have just done things, but if we're seeing a pattern, then it's probably some sort of issue with us that we're, system's in overload. We haven't, because of anxiety, we're not resting properly. We're staying so busy, right? We're doing all these sorts of things that are keeping us in overload instead of actually dealing with the real thing.
DAVID MORILLO (23:38.301)
is going on?
DAVID MORILLO (23:46.346)
Yeah.
DAVID MORILLO (24:06.921)
Awesome I want for the sake of the time constraints move us into another segment and I'll start off with you Ali When when we get there, which is a lot of adults a lot of adults a lot Because culture because of whatever a lot of adults delay counseling because what they think therapy is like I'd love to bust some of those myths from our
insider's point of view. And so there's oftentimes a statement that I think you hear in practice, which is, I'll be told to calm down or to think positive. What would your response be to that as someone's excuse to not engage there?
Ale Rios (24:53.909)
I think that we've been having this conversation about like what anxiety is, what its purpose is, how to kind of learn to live with it, not against it. think, think of a conversation between two people and one person says to the other something that doesn't rub them the right way. The response of that defensiveness, it can feel like an attack.
And so now you have two opposing people that are on the same side, but that defensiveness just makes it feel like you're not on the same side. And so a lot of times I think that that analogy applies to someone navigating their anxiety. They feel that they're in direct contrast to their anxiety. And so when they're told, hey, try calming down, that is not just something that can feel really invalidating from one person to another. That can feel really invalidating when you say that to yourself. When you tell yourself,
DAVID MORILLO (25:31.53)
Mm.
Ale Rios (25:48.622)
Like this anxiety is stupid. I don't need to feel this way. Like why do I feel this way? Like when we attack the way that we feel that anxiety, it's like, hey, I have a job here and you're telling me my job isn't worth it. Like that just makes me mad. So instead of learning to let go, my anxiety is probably going to get stronger or get madder at me. And so it's going to be a constant battle. So being told to just calm down, I don't think anybody feels like that's ever worked for them in relationships.
talking to yourself. so therapy is not just let's learn to get rid of your anxiety. It's let's learn on how to listen to your anxiety. So it doesn't need to talk as loudly to get its point across. And we can kind of have a more balanced, more harmony. And when we listen the first time, anxiety doesn't have to go, well, you didn't learn your lesson and I have to be louder next time. So I think
DAVID MORILLO (26:23.316)
That's where we're at right now.
Ale Rios (26:46.729)
validating the feeling, allowing the feeling to exist, but learning to work with it would be the goal of therapy more than how to live without anxiety.
DAVID MORILLO (26:51.043)
Thanks for watching.
DAVID MORILLO (26:56.024)
And I'm going to give one more myth out there that therapy is just talking about feelings. Michelle, how do you feel about that?
Michelle (27:03.817)
Oh, we talk about so much more than feelings, right? You know, usually folks step into therapy with goals. They come in and you know, they're struggling in one way or another, and they're looking for some answers, looking for some support. And that's, you know, we're here for so many different reasons, but certainly to help them work on their goals. They notice that their lives are suffering in some way and they want to make difference. So of course, feelings will be discussed and wow, it can be so beneficial to discuss our feelings.
anxiety is a feeling, right? It's an emotion.
DAVID MORILLO (27:39.476)
So I want to start transitioning us towards closing because we're running out of time and this episode has a fixed amount of time. If someone with anxiety made just one intentional shift, just one intentional shift this year, not a resolution, what would you want it to be? And I would love, Dr. Ernie, if you don't mind.
Ernie (28:05.678)
Sure. One thought with that real brief is just maybe stop asking how to get rid of anxiety and ask how do I deal with it differently. So maybe I'm not avoiding all my triggers. Maybe I'm learning how to deal with my triggers differently. Maybe I'm not avoiding all the stressful areas of my life. I'm learning how to cope with them better and problem solve better and work with them better.
DAVID MORILLO (28:22.957)
Maybe I'm not employed.
Ale Rios (28:36.371)
One thought I have kind of jumping off of that is how can I learn to share space with my anxiety? How can my anxiety and I take up the same space in the room and coexist? Because learning how to work with your anxiety isn't going to happen after one session. It's not going to happen after one day. It's maybe not even after one week. It takes time. But how can we kind of move towards that neutrality and acceptance, kind of how Michelle said earlier, acceptance first?
DAVID MORILLO (28:43.494)
society.
DAVID MORILLO (29:00.949)
Mm.
Ale Rios (29:05.065)
and then we can start to like teamwork and collaborate. So simply how can I take up the same space as my anxiety.
DAVID MORILLO (29:11.68)
And Michelle.
Michelle (29:14.457)
Create your own success story. Create a story where you are in the steering wheel of your life and you are holding on to the direction. Anxiety no longer holds your steering wheel.
DAVID MORILLO (29:22.645)
Hmm.
DAVID MORILLO (29:26.784)
That's just the end of the video. Geez, that felt like a mic drop moment. But thank you so much for all of the incredible insight and for your own vulnerability as you share today. Now to the audience. If anything in this episode sounded familiar and you think having someone to walk alongside you on this journey is a
Ernie (29:29.325)
Awesome.
Ernie (29:33.131)
you
Michelle (29:34.153)
you
DAVID MORILLO (29:54.94)
something that would add an incredible amount of value to you, I'd really encourage you to consider giving counseling a shot. It can be a place to understand what's happening beneath the surface and learn new ways to move through life with more steadiness and clarity. If you'd like to learn more about adult anxiety counseling services at the Counseling Corner, you can visit counselingcorner.net. Also, if this episode resonated with you, I would hopefully ask that you would consider sharing it.
You know, clarity is kindness, and you can provide a service of kindness to those in your life by sharing these words around anxiety that might be able to help someone else come through what they're dealing with within your sphere of influence. And so consider sharing this with somebody that might need to hear it too. And don't forget to subscribe for more helpful mental health conversations. I want to thank you for listening to Real Life Counseling. Until next time, take care of yourself and remember.
Real life is complicated, but you don't have to go through it alone. So thank you for your time today. Thank you, Dr. Reilly, Ali, and Michelle for your insights and look forward to the next episode.
Ernie (31:04.078)
Thank you so much for being here, David, and for taking over and hosting us. We really appreciate you.
Ale Rios (31:05.229)
Thank you.
DAVID MORILLO (31:08.81)
Really appreciate it. No problem.
Michelle (31:10.153)
Sure do. Yeah, thank you.