Can Counseling Actually Help Me (or my Family)?
Show Notes:
In this episode of Real Life Counseling, we meet Dr. Ernie Reilly and dive into the evolving landscape of mental health. Join us as we explore how perceptions have shifted since 1998, breaking down the barriers and stigma that once surrounded mental health counseling. Discover why therapy is not just for those in crisis, but a powerful tool for anyone seeking growth and healing. Whether you're considering therapy for yourself or a loved one, this conversation offers insights into the transformative power of counseling. Tune in to learn how therapy can be a step towards a stronger, more resilient you
For more information about Dr. Reilly, his services, our counseling/mental health in general visit his site at www.counselingcorner.net/findyourcounselor/ernie-reilly.
Takeaways
Counseling is a safe space for healing and growth.
The stigma around mental health has decreased over the years.
Therapy is not just for crises; it's for anyone feeling stuck.
The first therapy session is a conversation, not a test.
You don't need to have everything figured out before seeking help.
Therapy can be a powerful tool for personal development.
Counseling and therapy focus on emotional healing and understanding.
Coaching is more about goal-setting and moving forward.
Psychiatry involves medical treatment and medication management.
A negative experience in therapy does not define the value of counseling.
Chapters
00:00 Introduction to Counseling and Mental Health
03:11 The Evolution of Mental Health Counseling
04:47 Understanding the First Therapy Session
07:09 Recognizing When Therapy is Needed
09:51 Clarifying Counseling, Therapy, and Coaching
12:53 Overcoming Hesitations About Therapy
Visit the show on Apple Podcasts
Visit the show on Spotify
Transcript:
Ryan Simpson: All right, welcome to Real Life Counseling, a podcast by the Counseling Corner. I'm Ryan and I'm here each week with Dr. Ernie, founder of the Counseling Corner and licensed mental health professional. Together, we're gonna explore practical real world questions about mental health, relationships, parenting and healing. Whether you're curious about therapy, working through something tough or trying to support someone you love, this space is for you. Dr. Ernie, how you doing today?
Ernie Reilly: I'm doing great. Thank you, Ryan.
Ryan Simpson: Good. All right, let's jump in. Let's dive right in. Can you just introduce yourself a little bit? Tell us why you became a counselor and maybe tell us a little bit about the counseling corner too.
Ernie Reilly: Sure, Great question. Yeah, I'm Dr. Ernie Riley. Ryan, I usually describe my work kind of like I've been on a 30-year rescue mission, thousands of moments spent sitting with people in the midst of heartbreak and trauma, burnout, breakthrough, things like that. I didn't just learn this stuff though, kind of in a lab or something. I learned it more in the ashes, like walking with people who choose to keep going when everything in them wants to quit. That's where real strength is forged. Not in the absence of struggle, but right through it. I'd say about in 1998, I decided to go ahead and found the counseling corner in Orlando to create a kind of space that I would want for my own family. Safe, real, honest, grounded in things like ancient wisdom and evidence-based care and rock solid.
Ernie Reilly: sort of cutting edge psychology, a place where healing isn't just possible, it's practiced. So I would say every day I work with children, teens, or we work with children and teens navigating loss, couples on the brink of giving up, trauma survivors rising from the ashes, families trying to rebuild, high performers pushing past burnout, and all sorts of issues.
Ernie Reilly: If ask me what keeps me going, I'd say watching these people rise, not because life got easier, but because everything in them got stronger. Sometimes life doesn't get easier, right? So that's why I do what I do. And after all these years, I still believe we're made for more than survival. We're made to, you know, sort of be forged into something stronger.
Ryan Simpson: Amen.
Ryan Simpson: I love that. So 1998, that's a good while ago now at this point. Mental health has been steadily, I think, losing maybe some of the stigma associated with it in our culture today, but 98, the world was probably a little bit different. So what was it like seeing mental health counseling as a profession in 1998 culturally? Was there a weird stigma around it and how do you see it different today maybe?
Ernie Reilly: Yeah, I'd say there's a lot less stigma people are realizing that, you know, if you're, if you want to do something right, you get the right tools in place and that health is just a good, effective way of really doing things right. It used to be that people, you know, especially us guys tended to really kind of think that counseling just was, know, I don't know, for some reason as, you know, weak or something like that. And now people realize that
Ryan Simpson: Mm.
Ernie Reilly: that it's really just a good effective way of doing what you want to. If something's important, it's important to do well.
Ryan Simpson: Yeah, and it's the good hard work, right? It's that mental foundation, the rest of everything else is built on. Okay, wow. Awesome, well, our goal today is to really kind of people who are thinking, should I even approach counseling as a solution for me? And what is it really like? So maybe we can start just from the very beginning. And can you tell me what happens in like a first therapy session? Like if I were to come in,
Ernie Reilly: Yeah.
Ryan Simpson: I'm seeking some help. Can you tell me what that first session would be like for me?
Ernie Reilly: Sure, sure. Great question. would say it's probably one we get a lot. For many people, that first therapy session feels really intimidating. Some people it's not, but for many people it does feel kind of intimidating. But honestly, it's not a test, it's just a conversation. When you walk into our office or log in for a virtual session, you're not expected to have it all figured out. You don't have to perform or say anything just right. You just have to show up.
Ryan Simpson: I hear you.
Ernie Reilly: So I'd say in that first session, it's easy. We're listening. I'm listening. Listening for your story, your pain points, your hopes. Even if all you say is, don't know where to start, that's fine. That's perfectly fine. There's no right answer. That's why I'm there, to help. Help us figure out. And that's why they're there.
Ryan Simpson: Hmm.
Ryan Simpson: Yeah.
Ernie Reilly: is to figure out how to move through things. I'll guide you. I usually ask a few simple questions, not to interrogate, but to understand, like what's brought you here, or what's going on, or what's hurting, or what's been difficult lately, or perhaps something like, you know, what do you think healing would look like for you? What do you think, you know, where are you trying to get to? What are you trying to accomplish, right?
Ryan Simpson: Hmm.
Ernie Reilly: I want you to feel seen, heard, and safe. This isn't a clinical test or something. There's no audience, no right or wrong answers. It's more like, let's just take one honest step together. My goal in that first session is to create a space where you can breathe, a space where the pressure comes off and the process can sort of begin. It's pretty easy.
Ryan Simpson: Great. Okay. Yeah. No, so it's just a conversation. Right. And I like that you don't even really need to know where to start. Right. A lot of times people might try to self-diagnose. I do it all the time and try to figure out what's wrong with myself. And then once I'm at my wit's end, but I've already got a direction I think I should go. It's helpful to know I don't have to even go all the way there before I come to you. So I guess that kind of takes me to my next question.
Ernie Reilly: Yes, sir.
Ryan Simpson: How do I know if therapy is the right step for me? Or maybe some people are thinking about it for their child or their family and they're going through something. So how do we know if we should even consider it?
Ernie Reilly: So how do we know if we should consider it? That's a good question. Therapy is just for people who have things they want to work on, right? So it isn't just for people in crisis. Certainly it is for people in crisis as well. It's for anyone who feels stuck or overwhelmed, shut down, or simply wants something to shift or to change. If your mind feels crowded, your heart feels heavy, or you're
Ryan Simpson: Mm-hmm.
Ernie Reilly: Relationships feel strained. Therapy might just be the right next step. I often say you don't have to be falling apart to ask for help. Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is say, I don't want to keep doing things this way. Right, so you know, you could probably try to build a house or something, you know, Ryan, that's important to you without using tools, but probably just be smarter to use good tools, right?
Ryan Simpson: Yeah.
Ernie Reilly: get the right tools and use them. Therapy is just a high-powered tool for repairing, building, overcoming, and growing even stronger.
Ryan Simpson: Okay, yeah, so it's a tool.
Ryan Simpson: I like that metaphor. That makes sense, especially as we think about building up the lives that we want to build together or even building our families, the way that we want to build them up. Therapy can be a great tool.
Ernie Reilly: And people come in for all sorts of reasons. come in for, whether it's someone who's got a child that is anxious, or teens that are battling perfectionism, or panic, or pressure, or couples that find themselves stuck in cycles of sort of disconnection. They're just getting further and further apart. Or individuals navigating grief, or trauma, or burnout, or
Ryan Simpson: Mm.
Ryan Simpson: Yeah.
Ernie Reilly: just feeling sort of lost. And there's a path and they don't have to walk it alone.
Ryan Simpson: Yeah, we're certainly not meant to walk those kinds of things alone, Yeah, we're just not built for it, not as humans. Okay, so one thing I noticed though, as we've been talking and as I've done some research into mental health, there are so many terms that I've seen thrown around for this and for what you're doing. I've seen mental health, I've seen counseling, I've seen therapy, I've seen coaching, and then I've seen psychiatry. So can you maybe...
Ryan Simpson: help me understand the difference between some of those terms and are they different and how they should all be approached in relationship to each other.
Ernie Reilly: Sure, great question. And it's one that trips a lot of people up, right? Because even like psychology and psychiatry, right? They sound the same, Yeah. So great question. Here's a simple way to think about it. Counseling and therapy and psychology are often used very interchangeably. Both of those, counseling and therapy, are involved. A trained professional helping you to work through emotional pain.
Ryan Simpson: Mm-hmm.
Ryan Simpson: Yeah, I'd even mention psychology, yeah.
Ryan Simpson: Okay.
Ernie Reilly: mental health struggles or life challenges. It's about healing, growing and gaining a deeper understanding, getting stronger, your mental health. We're not meant to avoid things. Just like our bodies aren't meant to avoid things, we're meant to do things and get stronger. So many times, especially nowadays, you see some of that where people seem to be like everything needs to be accommodated to them. And they're just trying
Ryan Simpson: Mm-hmm.
Ryan Simpson: Mmm.
Ernie Reilly: to avoid the hardships. We're not meant for that. We're meant to tackle the hardships, right? And take care of So counseling and therapy and psychology and such, you could use those terms interchangeably for that. Coaching is a little bit different, a little bit similar, but a little bit different. It's more future-focused. It's less about healing wounds and more about setting goals, building habits, and moving forward. It can be powerful as well.
Ryan Simpson: So muscle gets built, yeah.
Ernie Reilly: but it's not designed to treat trauma or diagnose or work on specific conditions. It's more setting the goals and moving forward. At the counseling corner, we kind of do all of that. So we do all of that. Psychiatry is sort of a little bit of a different beast. On the other hand, it's kind of more like it's a medical specialty. So that's where you would go if you wanted to...
Ryan Simpson: Okay, that makes sense.
Ernie Reilly: medication or something like that, Psychiatrists are doctors who prescribe medications. Sometimes therapy and psychiatry work hand-in-hand, but they're very different.
Ryan Simpson: Okay. Yeah, I was going to ask if they ever worked together then.
Ernie Reilly: Yeah. So one way you could think of it this way is therapy helps you heal. Counseling helps you make sense of the now. Coaching helps you move forward. Psychiatry helps you to manage maybe the biology or the medical issues behind the struggle.
Ryan Simpson: Got it, okay, thank you for that breakdown. That's super helpful. I'm gonna remember that. Okay, so last question and then I'll let you go. I've had some friends who have had some stuff they've wanted to work through with counseling or within therapy and they haven't necessarily had the best experience. And so they've got some hesitation now around counseling. So I guess I'd love to know what would you say?
Ryan Simpson: if you got to meet with somebody like that who had a bad experience with therapy and wasn't sure that it was for them anymore.
Ernie Reilly: Yeah, so that's a great question. And it certainly is one that it's a difficult one. In any arena, there's going to be people who do a good job, and there's going to be some who don't do a good job. So that can be in any arena. And people who have had a good experience with plumbing or construction or whatever it might be, people who have had bad experiences with it.
Ryan Simpson: Mm-mm.
Ryan Simpson: Yeah. Yeah.
Ernie Reilly: But counseling is a fairly intimate process, right? So you're getting into a lot of stuff that's very personal. So yeah, so the first thing I would say is if someone said that, I would say, hear you, right? I see you, right? I hear and see that. And if you've had a bad therapy experience, it makes sense that you'd be hesitant. You opened up once and maybe it didn't feel safe. Maybe you felt judged or misunderstood or just unseen perhaps.
Ryan Simpson: Yeah, it's so personal. Yeah.
Ryan Simpson: Mm-hmm.
Ernie Reilly: That can hurt, right? For sure. And I'm sorry that that happened. But here's the truth that I want to leave you with is one person's failure to care for you well is not the same as you not being worthy of care, right? Or you being unworthy of care. In therapy, when it's done right, it's not about fixing you, it's about walking with you, not pushing you.
Ernie Reilly: I mean, maybe a gentle nudge here and there, but truly listening, not labeling you, but honoring your story. And I'd say at the counseling corner, we know how much courage it takes to try again. We don't take that lightly. We've built an excellent team that leads with compassion, clarity, connection, because we believe that the right relationship really can change a lot, right? And so if there's something...
Ryan Simpson: Hmm.
Ryan Simpson: Yeah.
Ernie Reilly: in you that still wants to heal, rebuild, forge strong. If you're willing to take one more brave step, I'd say we'd be honored to walk alongside them. You don't have to do it alone. Strength isn't built, it's born. I mean, it isn't born, it's built. And you get up to it, right? Just give us a call and we'll help you from there.
Ryan Simpson: Yeah.
Ryan Simpson: Awesome. Well, I think that's a perfect place to wrap up for today. Thank you for your time, Dr. Ernie, and thank you to everybody for listening to Real Life Counseling, podcast by the Counseling Corner. If today's conversation helped you or got you thinking, we'd love it if you would share this episode with a friend, leave us a review, and if you want more information or you want to connect with Dr. Ernie, just go ahead and visit counselingcorner.net, and until next time, take care of yourself and the people you love. Be brave, and we'll see you soon.
Ryan Simpson: Thanks Dr. Ernie.
Ernie Reilly: Thank you, Ryan.