Going to school usually is an exciting, enjoyable event for young children. For some it brings fear or panic. Parents have cause for concern when their child regularly feels sick from tension, "plays sick" or with minor physical complaints wishes to stay home from school. Not wanting to go to school is most common in children ages 5 to 7 and ages 11 to 14. These are times when children are dealing with the new challenges of elementary and middle school. These children may suffer from a paralyzing fear of leaving the safety of their parents and home. The child's panic and refusal to go to school is very difficult for parents to cope with, but these fears can be treated successfully, with professional help. At the Counseling Corner we have that help available for your family.
Refusal to go to school often begins following a period at home in which the child has become closer to the parent, such as a summer vacation, a holiday break, or a brief illness. It also may follow a stressful occurrence, such as the death of a pet or relative, a change in schools, or a move to a new neighborhood.
The child may complain of a headache, sore throat, or stomachache shortly before it is time to leave for school. The "illness" subsides after the child is allowed to stay home, only to reappear the next morning before school. In some cases the child may simply refuse to leave the house.
Children with an unreasonable fear of school may have the following traits:
feel unsafe staying in a room by themselves
display clinging behavior
display excessive worry and fear about parents or about harm to themselves
shadow the mother or father around the house
have difficulty going to sleep
have exaggerated, unrealistic fears of animals, monster, burglars
fear being alone in the dark, or
have severe tantrums when forced to go to school
Such fears are common among children with separation anxiety disorder.
The potential long-term effects (anxiety and panic disorder as an adult) are serious for a child who has persistent fears and does not receive professional assistance. The child may develop serious educational or social problems if away from school and friends for an extended period of time.
The parents and child can benefit from seeing a child therapist with experience in treating this issue. At the Counseling Corner we have child therapists who commonly treat this issue and can usually help resolve the problem. The child therapist can work with the parents and the child in an effort to immediately return the child to school and other important daily activities. Since the panic comes from leaving home rather than being in school, frequently the child is calm once in school. Refusal to go to school in the older child or adolescent is generally a more serious illness, and often requires more intensive treatment.
Unreasonable fears about leaving the home and parents can be successfully treated, and parents should not hesitate to seek professional help. A trained child therapist can make all the difference in treating this issue before it causes more problems for the child.