Could the "777 Rule" Improve Your Relationship?

Spending quality away time together on a regular basis can strengthen bonds.

Posted July 20, 2024 | Reviewed by Margaret Foley

THE BASICS

Key points

• The "777 rule" has been touted as a way to strengthen your relationship with your significant other.

• It encourages you to spend quality time with your significant other on a consistent schedule.

• Quality time together helps you connect more intellectually and emotionally and adjust things where needed.

When life is not exactly a bowl of cherries, will the number seven help remind you what to do with your significant other?

Source: Nataliya Vaitkevich/Pexels

You may have heard people touting the "777 rule" as a way to strengthen your relationship with your significant other. And it's got nothing to do with getting lucky on a particular Boeing model of airplane. Instead, each of the three sevens corresponds to the frequency at which you should be doing three different things that can help your relationship fly. Basically, the 777 rule indicates that:

• Every seven days, you should go on a date: This should be with your significant other and not someone else. Clearly, telling your significant other, "It's Friday, so I have my weekly date with that hot coworker" ain't going to land well.

• Every seven weeks, you and your significant other should spend a night away together: A night away doesn't mean in your basement or at your in-laws. Instead, it should be away from home, like at a hotel or resort, away from others, and include an overnight stay. That's because more things, lucky things, can happen when you are together overnight somewhere.

• Every seven months, the two of you should take a romantic vacation or getaway. This should be longer than just a night away and a way to get away from it all.

The general principle behind the 777 rule makes sense: It's important for the two of you to spend quality time together away from everyone else. Such time allows the two of you to connect intellectually, emotionally, and physically. You can get a much better sense of how each of you is doing and what you think of each other and the relationship. Spending this time and making this effort also allows you to make key changes and course correct before things really fall off the rails.

Too often couples drift apart when these things don't happen. It's easy to get caught up in the minutia of life, such as "Look, my picture of me and a pizza got 100 likes" and "Oh, the kids covered themselves with gravy again," and neglect building and maintaining the emotional bond between the two of you. Resentment can fester when you don't discuss and resolve issues. The 777 rule is a way of building in time to connect and remind each other why you are together in the first place.

However, don't expect the 777 rule by itself to be a magical solution. This rule made news after actor Andrew Buchan allegedly cheated on his wife, actress Amy Nuttall. Nuttall had reportedly told Buchan that he had to follow the 777 rule to stay with her. Now, of course, only Nuttall and Buchan knew the details and dynamics of their relationship and what else they may have been doing to try to repair it. But when cheating has already occurred in your relationship, the 777 rule alone ain't going to be like avocado: Putting it on top isn't going to magically make everything better.

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Also, don't get too caught up in the letter of the rule, or even the number of the rule. It doesn't have to be exactly seven days, seven weeks, and seven months. The number seven is a bit arbitrary. You don't need to say, "Honey, we can't go on a date Friday, because we just went on one Wednesday. The next one has to come next Wednesday." That could lead you to spend the next seven hours sleeping on the couch. Naturally, it's best to adjust the timing of such things to fit the two of you and your circumstances. Maybe your relationship needs these together times to be more frequent, such as a 555 rule.

Some may argue that such rules take the spontaneity and romance out of things by making it feel like you are simply fulfilling a requirement. The argument is that spending more time alone with your significant other should come naturally. If you are already spending such time with your significant other, then maybe you can deep-six the 777 rule. But for many, other aspects of life can get far too hectic and the distractions can mount. This can make it easy to lose sight of the big picture and forget that it's been way too long since you and your one-and-only have been functioning as two together. This is where numbers and some counting can help make sure that your focus is more on what really counts.

How Play Therapy Benefits Your Child's Emotional Well-Being

How Play Therapy Benefits Your Child's Emotional Well-Being

Why play therapy may be more beneficial than talk therapy for kids.

Posted May 13, 2025 | Reviewed by Margaret Foley

Child therapists and parents are eager to utilize mental health services for children who are struggling with anxiety, depression, social and interpersonal skills, self-esteem, trauma, and major life stressors.

Many turn to behavioral and cognitive-behavioral treatment modalities for children, as they are familiar models that are typically recommended and utilized by many therapists and school counselors. However, we know that young children, developmentally, often struggle with sitting on a couch to verbally identify their feelings, share, and understand higher levels of cognitive interventions.

In interviewing Isabel Palmer, AMFT, at Aspiring Families, a Center for Mental Health and Wellness, about the efficacy of play therapy instead of traditional talk therapy, she immediately quoted: “Toys are children’s words and play is their language” (Landreth, G. L., 2002).

What Is Play Therapy?

In exploring play therapy further, Ms. Palmer shared that play therapy is a developmentally appropriate approach that allows children to express emotions, process life experiences, and build psychological resilience. Play is a child’s natural medium of expression, communication, and learning. It becomes a therapeutic tool to help children resolve challenges symbolically.

In essence, by using puppets, storybooks, pictures, figurines, animals, and other play therapy tools, the therapist joins the child through play and imagination to understand and process their emotions. Hence, play therapy can be an effective therapeutic tool to help young children with emotional and cognitive processing during periods of stress, changes, or loss.

It is important for us as therapists, parents, and counselors to remember that even though children are resilient and adaptive, they often lack the cognitive maturity needed to process the complex emotions they go through during periods of stress. Children aren’t always able to cognitively grasp the emotional and structural changes that accompany stress.

Why Use Play in Therapy?

Ms. Palmer emphasizes that this is where play therapy helps. It is an effective tool to help young children with emotional and cognitive processing. Play therapy aids children in resolving challenges through symbolic, developmentally appropriate play and fosters growth.

Ms. Palmer highlights that, unlike regular play, play therapy is guided by a professional with specific therapeutic goals. It supports emotional regulation, confidence, and healing from trauma, anxiety, or behavioral struggles. Play allows children to make sense of their world and express what they can’t say verbally. In a therapeutic setting, it helps a child:

• Release and regulate emotions

• Rehearse real-life situations in a symbolic way

• Practice decision-making, problem-solving, and self-expression

• Strengthen social understanding and adaptability

How Is Play Therapy Different From Play at Home?

Home play is important for connection and creativity, but play therapy is quietly goal-directed and guided by a trained professional. As outlined by Ms. Palmer, the therapist uses clinical insight and techniques to help the child:

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• Express and process emotional pain

• Build emotional regulation and resilience

• Improve behavior, confidence, and relationships

What Is the Goal of Play Therapy?

• Play therapy allows children to learn new coping mechanisms so they can deal with their problems and unresolved trauma in healthy ways.

• The goal of play therapy is to work with children on complicated issues without overwhelming them in the process.

• The outcome of play therapy is to indirectly process their emotions and thoughts utilizing symbolic play and fantasy.

Ms. Palmer explains how therapy goals are customized for each child to achieve common outcomes, including:

• Improved emotional regulation

• Higher self-esteem and confidence

• Processing grief, trauma, or major changes

• Better communication and social skills

• Coping strategies for anxiety and frustration

Is Play Therapy Right for Your Child?

Play therapy is effective for a wide range of challenges, including:

• Anxiety

• Sadness or depression

• Divorce, grief/loss, or life transitions

• Peer and other social challenges

• ADHD

• Autism

• Sensory processing issues

• Anger, emotional outbursts, and poor emotional regulation

• Self-esteem

Why Play Works

Play is the most natural way for children to process complex thoughts and feelings. It:

• Encourages emotional release without pressure

• Builds self-awareness and confidence

• Allows reworking of stressful experiences in symbolic form

According to Ms. Palmer, research shows that therapeutic play engages brain systems responsible for emotional regulation, problem-solving, and social connection, making it a powerful method for emotional development (Siviy, 2016).

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Your Role as a Parent

Parents are a vital part of the process, says Ms. Palmer. As a caregiver, you will:

• Participate in regular progress check-ins

• Support therapeutic goals at home

• Learn strategies that reinforce growth

• Learn to observe and play with your child

This collaboration ensures therapy is effective both in and out of the session.

Benefits of Play Therapy

Ms. Palmer outlines how play therapy offers numerous benefits that support a child’s emotional and social development:

• By engaging in therapeutic play, children learn essential skills and strategies that promote coping, well-being, and healthier relationships.

• Processing emotions: Play therapy provides children with a safe space to articulate and understand their emotions, even when they can’t yet put them into words.

• Better self-esteem: Through positive reinforcement and successful problem-solving during play, children build confidence in their abilities and sense of self-worth.

• Anxiety management: Play therapy equips children with calming techniques and coping strategies and reduces feelings of fear, worry, and stress in challenging situations.

• Social skills: By engaging in role-playing and collaborative activities, children learn how to communicate effectively, share, and navigate social interactions.

• Empathy: Children develop a greater understanding of others’ perspectives and feelings through imaginative and interactive play scenarios.

Conclusion

Play therapy is a gentle, developmentally appropriate way for children to explore their feelings, work through challenges, and build resilience. If you have young children who are struggling with transitions, loss, grief, trauma, anxiety, depression, and other mental health challenges, it might be beneficial to explore seeking guidance and support from a play therapist.

The Impact of Social Media on Youth Mental Health: Risks, Benefits, and Family Approaches

The Impact of Social Media on Youth Mental Health: Risks, Benefits, and Family Approaches

• By: Elizabeth Callahan, MA, BCBA Behavior Therapy Associates

• April 16th, 2025

• adolescents, anxiety, body image and social media, cyberbullying, digital addiction, family, mental health resources, social media, Spring 2025 Issue, tech, youth mental health

• In recent years, the conversation around social media and youth mental health has become urgent and deeply personal for many families. Parents are increasingly wary of the role smartphones and social media play in their children’s lives, fueled by the spotlight on growing evidence linking excessive screen time to rising rates of anxiety, depression, and declining attention spans (Twenge et al., 2018). Bestsellers like Jonathan Haidt’s The Anxious Generation, initiatives such as Wait Until 8th for social media adoption, and school districts debating cell phone bans reflect a growing societal reckoning with how digital engagement impacts adolescent well-being. At the same time, social media offers benefits that cannot be ignored—it provides community, educational resources, and mental health support, particularly for marginalized youth (Naslund et al., 2020). Understanding this complex relationship requires a thoughtful approach, balancing risks with opportunities while equipping families with strategies to navigate the digital landscape effectively.

The Risks of Social Media on Youth Mental Health

Experts from the U.S. Surgeon General’s office, the American Psychological Association (APA), and the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) have all raised concerns about the potential harm excessive or unregulated social media use can pose to youth. Research increasingly points to negative psychological, developmental, and neurological effects, with certain populations—such as BIPOC and LGBTQIA+ youth—experiencing unique vulnerabilities (Anderson & Jiang, 2018).

Mental Health Challenges

Numerous studies have linked excessive social media use with heightened anxiety and depression among adolescents (Keles et al., 2020). The definition of “excessive” social media use varies across studies, but it is generally characterized by the volume of daily screen time (often exceeding 3–4 hours). However, other definitions focus on behavioral patterns, such as difficulty controlling use, compulsive, or problematic use that interferes with daily life (e.g., neglecting responsibilities or experiencing distress when unable to access social media).

The mechanisms behind these associations include disrupted sleep, increased social comparison, and exposure to cyberbullying (Orben et al., 2019). Adolescents who spend more than three hours per day on social media are at a significantly higher risk for mental health issues compared to their peers who engage less frequently (Abi-Jaoude et al., 2020).

Sleep Disruption

Adolescents who use social media before bedtime often experience sleep disturbances, as the blue light emitted from screens interferes with melatonin production, delaying sleep onset and reducing overall sleep quality (Leone & Sigman, 2020). This, in turn, can contribute to emotional dysregulation, increased stress, and poor academic performance (Carter et al., 2016).

Body Image and Self-Esteem

The culture of curated perfection on social media fosters unhealthy social comparisons, particularly among teenage girls (Fardouly et al., 2018). Platforms like Instagram, which emphasize visual content, have been linked to increased body dissatisfaction and disordered eating behaviors (Holland & Tiggemann, 2016). The pressure of achieving perfection displayed via filtered and edited depictions of unrealistic beauty standards can be especially harmful to adolescents who may already be struggling with self-esteem.

Cyberbullying and Online Harassment

While social media often connects young people, it may also expose them to cyberbullying, which has been associated with increased rates of depression, anxiety, and even suicidal ideation (Kowalski et al., 2018). BIPOC and LGBTQIA+ youth are disproportionately affected, facing higher rates of online harassment that exacerbate existing mental health disparities (Craig et al., 2021).

Addictive Behaviors

Social media platforms are ultimately designed to maximize engagement through algorithms that exploit dopamine-driven reward mechanisms, making them particularly addictive for young users (Alter, 2017). Excessive screen time has been linked to difficulties with impulse control, attentional issues, and increased stress levels (Twenge & Campbell, 2019).

The Benefits of Social Media for Youth Mental Health

Despite these concerns, social media is not inherently harmful. When used intentionally and in moderation, it can serve as a powerful tool for social connection, education, and self-expression.

Community and Social Support

For marginalized youth, social media can be a lifeline. LGBTQIA+ adolescents, for example, often find support and affirmation in online communities that may not be available in their immediate environment (Craig et al., 2021). Similarly, BIPOC youth engage with digital platforms to share experiences, access culturally relevant mental health resources, and build networks of support (Anderson & Jiang, 2018).

Access to Educational and Mental Health Resources

Many adolescents turn to social media to seek information on mental health, coping strategies, and academic resources (Naslund et al., 2020). Platforms like YouTube, TikTok, and Instagram have become spaces where mental health professionals share accessible, evidence-based guidance, helping to reduce access issues and the stigma around seeking help.

Identity Exploration and Skill Development

Adolescents use social media to explore their identities, express creativity, and develop new skills (Best et al., 2014). Platforms like TikTok and Discord allow youth to engage in hobbies, learn from peers, and build confidence in their abilities. When supported by healthy digital habits, these experiences contribute positively to personal growth.

Family Approaches to Navigating Social Media Use

Social media offers both opportunities and risks for youth, but one undeniable truth remains: it was designed to be addictive. Platforms leverage psychological and behavioral mechanisms to maximize engagement, often keeping users scrolling far longer than intended. While social media can foster connection and creativity, it also exposes children to harmful content, privacy risks, and unhealthy online interactions. The key takeaway is clear—content and limits matter. Families must take an active role in setting boundaries, encouraging mindful usage, and fostering open conversations about digital well-being. By understanding the intentional design of these platforms and equipping children with the tools to navigate them responsibly, we can help them harness the benefits of social media while mitigating its harms. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) emphasizes the importance of proactive, engaged parenting when it comes to media use, advocating for evidence-based strategies such as setting screen time limits, modeling healthy digital habits, and maintaining open communication to support children in making safe and informed choices online (Chassiakos et al., 2016).

1. Establishing Boundaries and Guidelines

• Create a Family Media Plan to set clear expectations about screen time, online behavior, and digital etiquette (AAP, 2016).

• Encourage tech-free zones, particularly during meals and before bedtime, to support in-person connection and healthy sleep habits.

1. Encouraging Open Conversations and Digital Literacy

• Talk with children about the emotional impact of social media, helping them recognize harmful content and develop critical thinking skills.

• Model healthy online behavior, demonstrating balanced social media use and respectful digital interactions.

1. Promoting Offline Activities and Meaningful Engagement

• Encourage participation in sports, arts, and community activities as alternative sources of fulfillment and social interaction.

• Use positive reinforcement to reward time spent engaging in offline interests rather than focusing solely on screen-time restrictions.

Social media presents both challenges and opportunities for today’s youth and their caregivers. While excessive or unregulated use can negatively impact mental health, digital platforms also offer meaningful opportunities for connection, support, and learning. The goal isn’t to vilify social media but to empower adolescents to use it thoughtfully and responsibly. By setting healthy boundaries, encouraging open conversations, and modeling a balanced approach to technology, families can help young people develop a positive relationship with the digital world—and along the way, we adults might just learn a thing or two about our own screen habits as well.

Elizabeth Callahan, MA, BCBA

Elizabeth Callahan, MA, BCBA, is a Board-Certified Behavior Analyst at Behavior Therapy Associates.